Idle Hands are the Buzzard’s Tools

Posted July 10, 2009 | Laura Christianson

1066600-buzzard

Enjoy these bloopers from book manuscripts I’ve edited:

The buzzard sounded and the basketball game commenced.

  • If the game gets out of hand, the buzzard can referee, too!

Standing at her kitchen sink, Lisa’s idle hands rested in the warm sudsy water.

  • Those hands just can’t decide whether to stand or sit.

Scott noticed the dreamy look that entranced his dishwasher.

  • My dishwasher gets that dreamy look, too, especially when I add dishes that formerly held ice cream sundaes.

Sailing high through the air, our eyes followed the kick.

  • And our eyes scored a field goal each, resulting in a score of 15-0.

Jared broke the water’s trance after a minute of silence.

  • Mystical water, indeed.

Stretching her thin arms and arching her back, she let out an extensive yarn.

  • I’ve heard of passing gas… but passing yarn? Ouch!
Return to Posts

8 responses to “Idle Hands are the Buzzard’s Tools”

  1. Kari Brodin says:

    Funny! Thanks for the helpful tips on prose, Laura!

  2. Kari Brodin says:

    Funny! Thanks for the helpful tips on prose, Laura!

  3. Kari Brodin says:

    Funny! Thanks for the helpful tips on prose, Laura!

  4. Kari Brodin says:

    Funny! Thanks for the helpful tips on prose, Laura!

  5. Stephen says:

    When you go on the road, let me know so I can buy out a table on the front row! Those are hilarious and certainly brightened my day (which is focused on a client’s doctoral thesis)–

    Thanks,
    Stephen, the-freelance-editor

  6. Stephen says:

    When you go on the road, let me know so I can buy out a table on the front row! Those are hilarious and certainly brightened my day (which is focused on a client’s doctoral thesis)–

    Thanks,
    Stephen, the-freelance-editor

  7. Stephen says:

    When you go on the road, let me know so I can buy out a table on the front row! Those are hilarious and certainly brightened my day (which is focused on a client’s doctoral thesis)–

    Thanks,
    Stephen, the-freelance-editor

  8. Stephen says:

    When you go on the road, let me know so I can buy out a table on the front row! Those are hilarious and certainly brightened my day (which is focused on a client’s doctoral thesis)–

    Thanks,
    Stephen, the-freelance-editor

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *