Take the Attribution Tag Challenge
As I was skimming through a Young Adult adventure novel, I couldn’t help but notice the author’s use of attribution tags (said so-and-so).
Here’s a sample, excerpted from five pages of dialog between the narrator (“I”) and her new friend, whom I’ll call “Sara.”
I spelled each attribution tag exactly as the author did.
I’ve removed the dialog so you’ll see only the attribution tags (which, in every instance, follow a character’s direct quote:
Sara proposed.
she explained.
I wondered.
Sara offered.
I proclaimed.
Sara inquired.
I shuttered.
Sara stated in love.
I reasoned.
she explained.
I asked with excitement.
Sara instructed.
Sara shouted.
I cheered.
I dreamed.
encouraged Sara.
Sara detailed.
I screamed.
introduced Sara.
Sara suggested.
I cheered.
Here’s your challenge:
- What’s wrong with these attributions?
- What’s right?
- Based on these attributions, what do you imagine is happening in this chapter?
- What advice would you offer the author in how to structure attributions?
Coming next: Where to put attribution tags, and how to punctuate them.
I like the way you use “suggested” in this dialogue. It doesn’t sound intrusive to me, likely because you didn’t overload the snippet with attribution tags and you included some action (pacing) and a sense of urgency.
Could you substitute a show-don’t-tell description for the phrase “in frustration”?
I like the way you use “suggested” in this dialogue. It doesn’t sound intrusive to me, likely because you didn’t overload the snippet with attribution tags and you included some action (pacing) and a sense of urgency.
Could you substitute a show-don’t-tell description for the phrase “in frustration”?