What is Your Least Favorite Euphemism?

I’m constantly on the lookout for euphemisms (yoo-fuh-miz-uhms): indirect, vague words and phrases that take the place of words/phrases thought to be too blunt, too harsh, or too politically incorrect.

My favorite real estate euphemism

I snapped this photo of Aspen Meadows Townhomes from my car while zooming south on I-5 (the West Coast’s major Interstate freeway that stretches from Canada to Mexico):

Aspen Meadows Townhomes

Aspen Meadows. Last time I checked, Aspen was a ski resort in Colorado. And meadows? I don’t think so. Not with the view of six lanes of I-5 30 feet from your front door.

Here’s another one from a newspaper headline:

“Experience innovative living close to Microsoft”

What, exactly, is “innovative living”?

Innovate means “to introduce something new.” So innovative living must refer to a new style of living. I read the article and learned about the “innovative” features of these “cutting edge home designs” (aka, condos):

  • Deeply-pitched rooflines
  • Metal exterior accenting
  • Dramatic floor-to-ceiling windows
  • Unexpected angles
  • Corner windows
  • Vaulted ceilings in master suites
  • Two-sided fireplaces
  • Loft space

Oh, so that’s innovative living! My life would not be complete without “unexpected angles” in my home.

Have you seen any interesting examples of euphemisms lately? Please share them.