9 Critical Marketing Lessons I Learned from the Kirby Vacuum Salesman

Posted February 6, 2012 | Laura Christianson

M is for MarketingPicture this scenario:

My workday opened with a two-hour meeting at the offices of one of my clients. On the way home, I swung by Costco to pick up some essentials (we have teenage sons, so milk, bread, and bananas are always in short supply).

As I meandered through the pots and pans aisle on the way to “bagel row,” I signed on a new client (imagine me on my cell phone, parked in front of the acrylic “glassware,” madly scribbling notes onto my pocket memo pad).

When I arrived back at my home office, I noted four “must-do” things to accomplish before my day ended:

  1. Synthesize notes from morning client meeting and send to the project team.
  2. Prepare and send contract and invoice to new client.
  3. Finalize curriculum for social media workshop I’m teaching in two days.
  4. Accompany my son to a meeting at his school.

I had just finished answering the day’s e-mails and was diving into my notes when a loud rap sounded on my front door. A cute, overly-cheerful young woman greeted me. (My distracted brain struggled to process this anomaly in a millisecond – Jehovah’s Witness? Nope. College-aged window washer? Nope.

She flashed a brilliant smile and asked, “Do you have a dirty carpet in your home that needs cleaning? We’ll dry-foam shampoo an entire room in your home right now, for free.”

This caught my attention. Because teenage boys in the home = dirt on the carpet. Lots of dirt.

“Do you have carpeted stairs? We’ll shampoo your stairs,” she offered.

I eased back from the front door and gazed at my carpeted staircase. Dirty.

Then I thought about our downstairs “man cave.” The video game/TV room. Extremely dirty.

“You said you’ll shampoo any room? Like, say, a largish family room?”

“Yes,” she replied, with a big, almost-genuine smile.

“Will I have to sit through an hour-long sales pitch for a Kirby, because I don’t have time for that today.”

“Oh no,” she promised. “No sales pitch at all.”

That was my first mistake. Everything I had ever learned from attending numerous time-share presentations flew out of my brain and all I could think about was that grimy carpet in my basement. The carpet that would be magically transformed into a better version of itself – for free – and I wouldn’t have to shampoo it.

“You’re on,” I said.

Soon, a three-person team of Kirby-ites hurricaned through my home, lugging in what appeared to be a truckload of boxes. Holy cow! All this, just to shampoo our man cave carpet?

For the next three hours (count ‘em – THREE HOURS), my husband, our older son, and I watched, dazed, as the Kirby-ites vacuumed, pre-treated, re-vacuumed, and shampooed two square feet of our basement carpet (they did not shampoo the entire room, as promised). They did suck the dust out of our laptops and clean the ancient floor mats from our son’s car. They even vacuumed our sons’ sheets and mattresses, and showed us evidence of dust mites and other disgusting things that make their home in our beds. Eeeewww!

During the midst of this marathon demo, my husband and I tag-teamed. He picked our younger son up from wrestling practice and grabbed us fast-food burgers for dinner. I took our son to his meeting at school. When we returned home, the Kirby-ites were still there, vacuuming everything in sight.

My husband pulled me aside. “I told them we’re not going to buy a Kirby,” but they won’t leave,” he hissed.

When the three Kirby-ites (demo guy, trainee, and hard-sell manager) finally packed up and left at 8:10 p.m., our 15-year-old son surveyed our freshly shampooed square of carpet and commented, “Well, it looks clean. But not $3,000 cleaner than it was before.”

That’s right, folks. They were asking nearly $3,000 for a “50th anniversary edition” Kirby with all the bells and whistles. Gulp.

The next morning, when I had finally recovered enough brain cells to think straight, I pondered the lessons I learned during this direct sales demonstration. Other than having a small area of clean carpet and dust mite-free mattresses, there had to be some meaningful takeaway lessons from my three hours with the Kirby-ites, right? 

Of course there are! Nine of them, in fact. You may wish to apply these lessons when selling your own products or services:

1.  Show up, in person

When I receive e-mail sales pitches, I read the Subject line and then hit the delete key.

When a telemarketer phones, I interrupt with a firm, “No thanks,” and hang up.

But when an energetic “girl next door” type knocks on my door and offers to clean a room of my house for free, it’s really, really hard to say “no.”

Takeaway: When you’re pitching your services or products, do so in person whenever possible. Face-to-face contact sells.

2.  Know your target market.

When Kirby-girl knocked on my door, she told me that their team was canvassing my middle-class neighborhood. “We’re shampooing Mary’s carpet across the street first, then we’re doing Frank’s down the block, and we need to do two more homes while we’re in your neighborhood today,” Kirby-girl informed me.

When she mentioned that Mary and Frank were in the process of getting their carpets shampooed, it subconsciously elevated my own trust level in the Kirby-ites.

The Kirby-ites are aware of the demographics of neighborhoods they target. They know whether the homes are owned or rented. They know the value of our homes and can make fairly accurate guesstimates as to our annual income. As such, they can predict that at least one of the homeowners on my block would fork out $3,000 for a vacuum cleaner.

Takeaway: Do your homework. Before you pitch your services or products, do extensive market research into who your ideal customer is.

3.  Connect with your customer.

Kirby demo guy asked us about our interests, hobbies, and activities. In return, he told us stories about his kids, hobbies, and activities. He did so as a natural part of the conversation, which helped us view him as a real person and elevated our trust in him.

Takeaway: Your customers are not statistics, but real people. Get to know them as individuals, and find ways to show them you care about them.

4.  Give away something valuable.

When the Kirby-ites knocked on my door, they promised they’d shampoo a room of my house. Since my carpet was in need of a shampoo, their incentive was of high value to me.

Takeaway: Think about a “loss leader” – a product or service you can give away without breaking the bank – something that will benefit your ideal customer in a tangible way.

5.  Keep your promises.

Unfortunately, the Kirby-ites did not fulfill their promise to shampoo our entire room; instead, they dinked around in the room’s entryway (granted, the entry was the dirtiest spot on the carpet) for three full hours. As a result, part of the carpet in our man cave looks great, and the rest looks… not so great.

Takeaway: People remember negative experiences 20 times more than they do positive ones, and they’re more likely to share negative experiences with others. Fulfill promises you make to potential customers, and you’ll likely earn their long-term loyalty.

6.  Let your product or service do the talking.

The Kirby demo guy asked us to get out our own vacuum cleaner. He poured a mountain of baking soda on our carpet and showed us how ineffective our vacuum is at, well – vacuuming.

He then vacuumed the same area with the Kirby, so we could see how effectively it slurped up every iota of dirt, dust, and hair. He made his point without uttering a word; he simply showed us swatches of black fabric he’d attached to the Kirby, loaded with gunk from our carpet.

He displayed at least 20 fabric swatches loaded with dirt from our carpet in conspicuous locations all over our family room floor. He then looked pointedly at said fabric swatches. And waited for us to get nervous and blurt out, “We must immediately stop paying our son’s college tuition and buy a Kirby instead!”

Takeaway: If you have a great product or service, and you truly believe in it, you won’t have to convince people to buy it. Let the quality of your product or the value of your service speak for itself.

7.  Make the sale.

Partway through the demonstration, Kirby guy handed us a laminated sheet that listed the prices and features for three Kirby systems.

He hauled our old vacuum cleaner outside and left it there, a psychological trick intended to make it easier for us to trade in that “piece of junk” for a spanking new Kirby.

Near the end of the demo, he broke out “the black binder” and walked us through the endless wondrous benefits of owning a Kirby.

At the end of the presentation, he called in the reinforcements – the slick manager guy whose job is to play “bad cop.” Manager guy asked us directly (several times) if we would buy the system. When we said “no,” he didn’t give up right away, but followed up with, “What if I could make you a dynamite deal?”

Takeaway: Many of us spend hours polishing our pitches. But when it comes time for the call-to-action, we get squeamish. Get over it. Don’t be afraid to ask, “Will you buy this? Will you buy it right now?”

8.  “No” means “no.”

When prospects do say no – or when they say “maybe, but not right now,” it’s ok to ask for clarification. But when they get that hostile glint in their eyes and start edging closer to the kitchen knife block, it’s time to pack up and leave.

The Kirby-ites packed their boxes as slowly as possible, deliberately cleaning, scrubbing, and polishing each component. They gently wrapped each tool in plastic bags and reverently placed each item into boxes.

Their goal was to show us how valuable this machine is, and what great care one must take of it. Their ever-so-slow packing procedure gave us plenty of time to ponder whether we’d made the correct decision in saying “no.”

They intentionally made us feel uncomfortable, hoping we’d get impatient and say, “What the heck. I’ll buy this thing, just to get you guys out of here faster!”

The “refuse-to-take-no-for-an-answer” that direct sales people use has always irritated me. I am polite to sales people because I respect the fact that they’re doing their job. But once I make a buying decision, I rarely change my mind.

Takeaway: When you’re selling your product or service, be aware of the body language of the person you’re selling to. Respect their “no” or their “maybe later,” and follow up with the prospect in a few days, after they’ve had a chance to cool off and think about their decision.

9.  Zip your fly.

Kirby demo guy was dressed appropriately for the job. He had on jeans, sturdy (but attractive) work shoes, and a dress shirt and tie. He was professional, well-spoken, and friendly (but not overly friendly). Only one problem. His fly was unzipped, and his tighty whities were on display in all their cottony glory.

Takeaway: Before doing a presentation, sales pitch, or any activity that involves meeting a prospect in person, check and double-check every aspect of your grooming and attire in front of a full length mirror. First impressions do count.

Two additional marketing lessons, updated April 12, 2016:

Readers: Today, I closed the comment thread for this post. Sadly, recent comments have degenerated into a flame war among Kirby distributors, owners, and non-owners.

That was NOT my intention when I wrote this article; the point was to share marketing lessons I learned during the Kirby demo in my home — lessons that any of us who sell products and services can benefit from.

Incidentally, my doorbell rang the other day and it was two young women, huffing and puffing because they had been “running down the block, doing demos for 4 neighbors.”

Word-for-word the same pitch they gave me four years ago. “We aren’t trying to sell you anything,” they gasped, in unison. “We’re just here to offer you a free demo.”

“Are you by any chance doing demos of Kirby vacuums?” I asked.

“Well, yes.”

“I’m not interested. Have a nice day.”

So, I’ll throw in two more lessons I learned:

1) Don’t lie to me and tell me you’re not trying to sell me anything when it’s obvious that selling me something is exactly why you rang my doorbell.

2) Change up your sales pitch every few years (preferably, more often than every few years). I’ve heard the breathless, “We’re in such a hurry… all your neighbors have asked for a demo” line every year for the last four years.

Been there. Done that.

 

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78 responses to “9 Critical Marketing Lessons I Learned from the Kirby Vacuum Salesman”

  1. Josh says:

    I refuse to buy from someone in a van without a company logo. The handouts were poorly written and printed. They refused to give me a business card. What kind of salesperson doesn’t want future business? “I’ve been called a lot of things, but I never been called back.” The “boss” walked into my house without knocking. This makes me want to buy a gun. If I say no, get out of my house!

  2. Josh says:

    I refuse to buy from someone in a van without a company logo. The handouts were poorly written and printed. They refused to give me a business card. What kind of salesperson doesn’t want future business? “I’ve been called a lot of things, but I never been called back.” The “boss” walked into my house without knocking. This makes me want to buy a gun. If I say no, get out of my house!

  3. Michael Gullberg says:

    Kirby is an unbelievable scam, whether you own or are selling. It was the only
    job my 19 year old could find and I could not believe the amount of
    hours they wanted him to work, the utter lying on the part of other
    salesmen about how much they made, and the complete dishonesty about
    how much money he could make. Kirby takes advantage of young people
    to super hard sell an incredibly overpriced piece of machinery nobody
    needs. Having done that, they make it virtually impossible to make
    any money. Having watched my son go through what he went through and
    how hard he tried in his first foray out in the work world was
    disgusting, and they had him so sold on getting rich it took a
    former Kirby salesmen whose door he just happened to knock on to talk
    him out of it and see it for the utter scam it is. I felt so bad
    for him, and how he sees the work world now, and I don’t blame him.

    Great marketing ideas if you’re really, really unethical.

  4. Michael Gullberg says:

    Kirby is an unbelievable scam, whether you own or are selling. It was the only
    job my 19 year old could find and I could not believe the amount of
    hours they wanted him to work, the utter lying on the part of other
    salesmen about how much they made, and the complete dishonesty about
    how much money he could make. Kirby takes advantage of young people
    to super hard sell an incredibly overpriced piece of machinery nobody
    needs. Having done that, they make it virtually impossible to make
    any money. Having watched my son go through what he went through and
    how hard he tried in his first foray out in the work world was
    disgusting, and they had him so sold on getting rich it took a
    former Kirby salesmen whose door he just happened to knock on to talk
    him out of it and see it for the utter scam it is. I felt so bad
    for him, and how he sees the work world now, and I don’t blame him.

    Great marketing ideas if you’re really, really unethical.

  5. Kirby salesperson says:

    I have sold kirby vacuums door to door for a year and a half now (in fact I am sitting in a neighborhood right now, about to pop into one of my guys houses) and I will say that you are accurate about all but one of the points you made in this article – no means no. In a sale, I hear, on average, 8 “no’s” before I hear a yes. You are correct in that you won’t “change your mind” but you may make a new decision based on new information. For example you may say no but if you haven’t seen all the ways the product can benefit you yet, it doesn’t necessarily mean that “no” will stay a “no”. I work on 100% commission so I know that no doesn’t always mean no (or have would have starved to death by now). On a side note, I see a lot of stories online about how kirby reps use high pressure tactics – those are only the unsuccessful and unskilled reps(who in their defense are probably very new and have never worked in a sales position ever before in their life). Good salespeople know that kirby is a very soft sell (unlike car sales which is a hard sell) and that “bashing” people are not going to get you anywhere except kicked out of the house. So not taking no for an answer doesn’t mean being high pressure, it just means being persistent and doing it tactfully with a smile on your face.

  6. Kirby salesperson says:

    I have sold kirby vacuums door to door for a year and a half now (in fact I am sitting in a neighborhood right now, about to pop into one of my guys houses) and I will say that you are accurate about all but one of the points you made in this article – no means no. In a sale, I hear, on average, 8 “no’s” before I hear a yes. You are correct in that you won’t “change your mind” but you may make a new decision based on new information. For example you may say no but if you haven’t seen all the ways the product can benefit you yet, it doesn’t necessarily mean that “no” will stay a “no”. I work on 100% commission so I know that no doesn’t always mean no (or have would have starved to death by now). On a side note, I see a lot of stories online about how kirby reps use high pressure tactics – those are only the unsuccessful and unskilled reps(who in their defense are probably very new and have never worked in a sales position ever before in their life). Good salespeople know that kirby is a very soft sell (unlike car sales which is a hard sell) and that “bashing” people are not going to get you anywhere except kicked out of the house. So not taking no for an answer doesn’t mean being high pressure, it just means being persistent and doing it tactfully with a smile on your face.

  7. Nathan Myrick says:

    wow I have read many great issues from both sides; Laura, when I was reading the first part of your story I had no idea that it would Segway into a really cool lesson.. great job!

  8. Nathan Myrick says:

    wow I have read many great issues from both sides; Laura, when I was reading the first part of your story I had no idea that it would Segway into a really cool lesson.. great job!

  9. Thanks, Nathan. Most people who’ve commented on this article have gotten bogged down in whether Kirby salespeople are good vs. bad. I’m glad you recognized the marketing lessons.

  10. Thanks, Nathan. Most people who’ve commented on this article have gotten bogged down in whether Kirby salespeople are good vs. bad. I’m glad you recognized the marketing lessons.

  11. Nathan Myrick says:

    No problem

  12. Nathan Myrick says:

    No problem

  13. Jagrick says:

    Great read, and the comments as well. I am totally new at this as just went to orientation today. Next 2 days are class. I am apprehensive about this adventure as have never sold anything before and not sure how good I can do. I am honest, so to me it’s way too expensive but to some it may not be. I guess apart from you’re article the most I can say is that I won’t try and deceive anyone as wouldn’t want that done to me.

  14. Jagrick says:

    Great read, and the comments as well. I am totally new at this as just went to orientation today. Next 2 days are class. I am apprehensive about this adventure as have never sold anything before and not sure how good I can do. I am honest, so to me it’s way too expensive but to some it may not be. I guess apart from you’re article the most I can say is that I won’t try and deceive anyone as wouldn’t want that done to me.

  15. PJ says:

    This is such BS..
    1).I’m a Kirby Distributor myself and I like the way people “think” they know our “techniques” First of all No doesn’t always mean No and I have many happy customers who initially told me “NO’ who are now HAPPY Kirby owners.
    2) Dealers are “taught’ to be meticulous in cleaning the machine. We don’t want to just throw a Kirby in the box after cleaning someone’s filthy home. These machines are expensive and I’d fire any Dealer who “didn’t ” take the time to thoroughly clean the machine before taking it into someone else’s home.
    #) people miss the point when all they focus on is the “Price tag” of the machine. There are lots of vacs out there that go for 800.,00 – 1200.00 that don’t shampoo carpets, furniture.Every company I’ve researched so far that go into homes to “sanitize ” peoples’ mattresses use a Kirby and they charge up to 150.00 for this service.That means a person who “invests” in a Kirby and does this themselves.Savings??? 10 x 150.00+ 1500.00 over say a 5-10 year period.
    Only fools make these ridiculous analyses of our demo and equipment because they are IGNORANT of all the facts!!!!

  16. PJ says:

    This is such BS..
    1).I’m a Kirby Distributor myself and I like the way people “think” they know our “techniques” First of all No doesn’t always mean No and I have many happy customers who initially told me “NO’ who are now HAPPY Kirby owners.
    2) Dealers are “taught’ to be meticulous in cleaning the machine. We don’t want to just throw a Kirby in the box after cleaning someone’s filthy home. These machines are expensive and I’d fire any Dealer who “didn’t ” take the time to thoroughly clean the machine before taking it into someone else’s home.
    #) people miss the point when all they focus on is the “Price tag” of the machine. There are lots of vacs out there that go for 800.,00 – 1200.00 that don’t shampoo carpets, furniture.Every company I’ve researched so far that go into homes to “sanitize ” peoples’ mattresses use a Kirby and they charge up to 150.00 for this service.That means a person who “invests” in a Kirby and does this themselves.Savings??? 10 x 150.00+ 1500.00 over say a 5-10 year period.
    Only fools make these ridiculous analyses of our demo and equipment because they are IGNORANT of all the facts!!!!

  17. Robert Thomas Mahoney says:

    The problem with buying a Kirby anywhere else is that you don’t get the warrantees or any of the additional benefits that the actual distributor offers. There are no other authorized dealers.

  18. Robert Thomas Mahoney says:

    The problem with buying a Kirby anywhere else is that you don’t get the warrantees or any of the additional benefits that the actual distributor offers. There are no other authorized dealers.

  19. Bobby J says:

    PJ,
    It is not the Product itself that is in question. I happen to think that Kirby is a high quality vacuum, however pricey.
    It is the sales tactics that are in question. As tenacious as the sales team are, there is an unspoken pattern to Kirby sales: The “Demo guy”, the “Trainee”, and the hard sell “Manager”.
    Free room cleaning with no obligations or initial precept of attempting to sell a product sounds enticing and may get a sales team through the door. The hard sell tactics, up to and including the several hour visit, may sell some product, however, it tends to anger potential consumers.
    There is a reason why any cursory web search in regards to Kirby salesman are overwhelmingly negative. Bad news travels faster than good news (#8 no means no).
    Ultimately, you may get some bites, but the sales tactic may have alienated potential consumers from ever looking into Kirby products again.

  20. Bobby J says:

    PJ,
    It is not the Product itself that is in question. I happen to think that Kirby is a high quality vacuum, however pricey.
    It is the sales tactics that are in question. As tenacious as the sales team are, there is an unspoken pattern to Kirby sales: The “Demo guy”, the “Trainee”, and the hard sell “Manager”.
    Free room cleaning with no obligations or initial precept of attempting to sell a product sounds enticing and may get a sales team through the door. The hard sell tactics, up to and including the several hour visit, may sell some product, however, it tends to anger potential consumers.
    There is a reason why any cursory web search in regards to Kirby salesman are overwhelmingly negative. Bad news travels faster than good news (#8 no means no).
    Ultimately, you may get some bites, but the sales tactic may have alienated potential consumers from ever looking into Kirby products again.

  21. Well said, Bobby J. Thank you for that.

  22. Well said, Bobby J. Thank you for that.

  23. Ricky says:

    Great read lots of good take aways

  24. Ricky says:

    Great read lots of good take aways

  25. AB says:

    The worrying thing is, you probably believe this obviously-delusional garbage. I see many frustrating years of nights in police cells, restraining orders and lonely TV dinners before blowing your own brains out in your future.

    “No” really does mean “no”, you see. Whether you choose to recognise it like a normal human being or have the realsation that other people’s rejection of you will be enforced anyway should you unwisely choose to try and ignore it.

  26. KirbyBaby says:

    Tiger… thank you so much for saying what needed to be said. As promoters of Kirby its not the money, though thats great, its the product that makes us take on a profession mostly thought of as miserable or a losing battle. I just took a position with Kirby and during the orientation all i could think was, I need to go clean my house, oh my gosh my bed is so gross, Oh and I NEED TO GO CLEAN MY HOUSE WITH A KIRBY, PLEASE CAN I TAKE THE KIRBY HOME (going home and cleaning with anything else isn’t really cleaning, its simply pushing dirt from one area to another) What I know from being on the listening end as a newbie is that “Kirby-ites” genuenly want to offer a product that makes life easier in a fun light hearted way. Between the money spent buying a new matress, the likely doctor visits as a result of impurities in the air like dead skin and bed mite feces, replacing carpets (or hardwood floors for that matter), lowered immune system from residing in a perpetually dirty home… plus all the equipment a Kirby can replace, 3,000$ is a small price to pay. Especially with a company like Kirby where pride is taken in making quality products with standard lifetime warranties. But! i’m not writing to make a pitch, you could say I’m not qualified for that yet. What I am doing is agreeing, anybody who sees the filth that has overrun the home they worked so hard to get and keep nice, and doesn’t even give first thought to the benefits; then like you said, either their broke or a pig.
    I think its hilarious that a grown woman climbed out her own window, I mean its your house, the one YOU pay for. Have some courage or dignity, or something. Respect people trying to make a living in offering you a way to improve the quality of YOUR life, don’t scheme and say I don’t care what they have to say or that this is thier career- I don’t even want to give them the decency of engaging in conversation- I just want free stuff and get out. You think you got the last laugh? Nope, your story is gold. Enjoy the money you get from selling our accesories to a proud Kirby owner. By putting them on craigslist you should have effectively put yourself lower on the totem poll than true Kirby reps, your a subordinate used Kirby accessories distributor. SORRY GUYS FOR THE DISCORD! It’s just that rude people should not take pleasure in making fun of aspiring young individuals.

  27. 19 and shredded says:

    Hey this was really well written. I’m generally super harsh on blogs, but this was cool.. good job!

  28. I have decided to stop accepting comments on this post. Sadly, the comments have degenerated into a flame war among Kirby distributors, owners, and non-owners. That was NOT my intention when I wrote this article; the point was to share marketing lessons I learned during the Kirby demo in my home — lessons that any of us who sell products and services can benefit from.

    Incidentally, my doorbell rang the other day and it was two young women, huffing and puffing because they had been “running down the block, doing demos for 4 neighbors.” Word-for-word the same pitch they gave me four years ago. “We aren’t trying to sell you anything,” they gasped, in unison. “We’re just here to offer you a free demo.”

    “Are you by any chance doing demos of Kirby vacuums?” I asked.

    “Well, yes.”

    “I’m not interested. Have a nice day.”

    So, I’ll throw in two more lessons I learned:

    1) Don’t lie to me and tell me you’re not trying to sell me anything when it’s obvious that selling me something is exactly why you rang my doorbell.

    2) Change up your sales pitch every few years (preferably, more often than every few years). I’ve heard the breathless, “We’re in such a hurry… all your neighbors have asked for a demo” line every year for the last four years. Been there. Done that. Not interested.